descent

descent, 6x8 inch blank journal
mixed media and encaustic cover
-sold-


Yesterday I woke up feeling allergic to the world. Then I changed my mind later and thought that I felt like I had been poisoned. No, not really. But if I had been poisoned, I think that's how I would feel. Blech. But Noah and I did manage to go to our Thursday morning music class and have fun. I think the stress of moving, still recovering from being sick, and life in general hits me on certain days.

I went into the studio yesterday afternoon because I absolutely need to get everything done that needs to get done for the June show. The reason being that I need to start packing up my art supplies. Oh no! I'm going to feel like I'm missing a limb for the next few months. But I think what I will do so I don't lose my mind is sketch and do lots of visual journal entries. Or cook. That's what I do as my creative outlet when I can't get into the studio.

Or most likely I will just be packing and getting our house ready to go on the market.

Anyway, yesterday afternoon was terrible. Everything was a disaster. A piece that was finished that I just wanted to fix a little bit, got completely messed up. And no longer exists. That was disheartening. And then another encaustic piece I was working on, just was not working out. On the afternoon where I needed to be most productive, everything failed. Oh well, what can you do? It's tough when I get so limited studio time and to have it be such a disaster.

But I had some interesting conversations yesterday. The first was with one of the other artists who is in my building. He is much older and has been working as an artist for a long time, even owned a gallery at one point. Our conversation made me realize how naive I can be when it comes to this art world. It wasn't a bad conversation at all. In fact, it was eye opening. I will have to write about it at another time. He made me laugh with his very honest observations about the way the art world works.

The other conversation that was good for my soul was with Angela Rockett at Gallery 309 in Belltown. She was having an opening reception at this new gallery and although I was tired and had a horrible day, I knew that it would do me good to go. I hardly ever go anywhere after 7 pm (Noah's bedtime) so this was a treat. So after Noah went to bed I threw off my dirty paint stained clothes and tried to make myself a little bit more presentable. (Failed at that, but didn't care considering the day I had). It was so good to see her and talk about art and energy and the creative process. Hopefully we will get to see each other again before I leave.

my source

my source, 6x6 inch blank journal

I haven't done a window piece in a long time and wanted to revive the windows theme. Windows seem like good entry ways into a journal. The inspiration photo for this piece was taken at an old fort on Orcas Island. I think the fort/tower is located on Mt. Constitution, where on clear days you can see all the islands as well as Canada blanketed in shades of shimmering blues and grays. It's really breathtaking.

I added the words "my source" to the bottom. What that means to me in particular is being in tune with myself. As well as my Higher Power, God, the Universal Energy, whatever you want to call it. And the way I stay in tune with myself is through my art, through journaling, through mindful observations. Through gratitude, as well.

This journal is a new size journal that I'm offering at amanobooks, measuring 6x6 inches. It has a nice square feel in my hands. The first time I made a book this size was for a personal project that took 2 years to complete. Several visual journal spreads from that project are actually going to be published in Dawn DeVries Sokol's book 1,000 Artist Journal Pages. I can't wait to see it! The release date is coming up soon.

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The garage sale was a big success and actually lots of fun. I talked to a lot of our neighbors who were sad to hear that we are leaving. I will miss our neighborhood a lot. We got rid of a lot of stuff. A lot. I feel so much lighter now. The rest that's left that is in good condition will be donated.

The best part was three particular garage sale buyers. The first one was Lisa Pettit who is a printmaker. I have seen her work all around town and knew that we both lived in the same area, but I had never met her. Her prints are beautiful and really must be seen in person to appreciate her delicate lines. I hope she will have fun exploring with the canvases she bought from me.

The second special visit was from Tina. We have gotten to know each other through our blogs these past couple years and finally met in person! It was so nice to meet her and her family. I wish we had more time to chat. And she bought my daylab! At least I know it's going to a good, creative home.

And last was Jeliza who I also have known through our blogs these past few years. She was smart and came at the end and whisked away my paper ladder and book press. My husband had bet me that no one was going to buy my paper ladder. And I was like, why not?? Paper ladders are the coolest and absolutely essential! They were just waiting for the right person. Thanks Jeliza for helping me to win that bet. It was fun talking kids, photography, encaustic, and art with her.

The fun thing about meeting people in 3D after getting to know them through blogs is that there is already that familiarity. Even if it's the first time we met, it's like picking up mid-sentence where our last conversation left off. It's pretty neat. I think it's because we all share a common bond of creativity and art. A sisterhood of the net!

embrace

embrace, encaustic on birch
6x6 inches

I created this little encaustic piece during the period when it seemed like disaster after disaster was striking this planet of ours. The stories I heard on the radio coming from China were heartbreaking. And then the untold stories happening in Myanmar. And the devastation in our own midwest states. It's hard not to feel vulnerable with all this happening around us.

Images of nests with eggs usually evoke feelings of comfort, shelter, home. But the flipside is also vulnerablity. These little miracles of twigs and grass hanging precariously from swaying branches, or hidden in marshes. So close to danger. Fragile life.

And yet, life keeps on as it has since the beginning. And the birds sing everyday because really, that's all we can do.

And well, hopefully take care of our planet better than we have.

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I've been using every spare moment packing, sorting, and getting everything set for our garage sale tomorrow. I hope people come! It's going to be a hot one tomorrow. In the 80's. That's unheard of here in Seattle at this time of year! We will all be swooning in the heat because we are such wusses when it comes to hot weather. I don't know what I'm going to do when I move to Chicago! Melt, is my guess.

I gathered up quite a bit of art supplies to hopefully sell. Time to let things go in order to clear up space in my head and make room for more paintings.

siren's song

siren's song, 5x7 blank journal
mixed media and encaustic cover
-sold-


Remember this image of trees that I used to create Endlessness? This is the same grove of trees on the beach at Golden Gardens Park that overlooks the Puget Sound. I just feel that these trees have such a sense of longing in their stance. Is that possible? The wide expanse beyond them calls to me. That's why I added the words "siren's song" on the bottom.

This panel has been bound into a blank journal.

I've been busy packing and going through stuff. Tossing things into garage sale pile or into garbage pile. When we moved to Seattle we barely had anything. How did we accumulate so much stuff?? And our possessions seemed to triple since Noah joined us. Babies really can take over a house!

I found this quote in a binder of assignments that I had held onto from when I took graphic design classes at the Art Institute of Seattle. I went there for 3 quarters when we first moved to Seattle. But then amanobooks started to grow and I became very dissatisfied with my coursework there. I loved graphic design actually and was doing really well. If I had decided to pursue graphic design I would have transferred to the UW for their master's program. But instead I became an art school drop-out. I have to say though that being in those classes, even for that short time, had a big impact on me. It was the first time I was ever in "creative classes" as I had gotten a B.S. at Northwestern University in IL. And it felt right. In my gut, I knew that I needed to create and get myself on some sort of creative path. Receiving feedback from my instructors helped me start to believe that maybe I was a creative person. I never thought I was. It's interesting to look back and see how things definitely happen for a reason. Detours can be stepping stones.

I ended up filling a big trash bag with all my notes from those classes, but saved this quote:

Cut to the chase. Probe the problem. Ask questions. Ask more questions. Let questions arise in you. Be diligent. Be merciless. Be serious. Research the problem always with a questioning mind. Embrace the process, for it is the struggle that will feed you, nourish you and make the activity of being a visual communicator worthwhile. :::Richard Wilde:::

Speaking of quotes, I added a quote category over to the right. I am a collector of quotes, especially of the creative process. I'm going to put my favorite quotes there and rotate them every week. If I remember, that is!

Wish me luck with the garage sale this weekend, I've never done one before. I wonder if my Daylab will sell? Part of me is hoping that it won't, so that I can keep it. Only a specific type of person will recognize it and who knows if that person will show up. But I haven't used it in years, so I thought it better go in the garage sale pile.

signs of life

signs of life, encaustic and mixed media,
9x12 inches

Thank you for all your supportive comments on my last post regarding sharing my thoughts behind the pieces. Sometimes I just get unsure of what is too much, how much, etc. But when I began painting again, one of the reasons why I started to journal along with my paintings was to be able to work out my language. What I mean is, it is hard to put into words why we do what we do. Even if there is no deeper meaning behind the reason there may be a circle included on the right top of a painting. There is, however, a reason behind our impetus to create. Figuring that out gives me direction.

This piece above was an exploration of building up layers of wax and then scraping back. You can see in the bottom, the scraping back I did. Upon seeing the results, it reminded me of the natural aging process we see in our everday surroundings. The signs of life around us. Oxidation, decay, life upon life, the eternal circle of life and death. I have always been in love with patina. When I was in high school and did a lot of work in clay, my teacher would order special patinas and oxidation pigments just for my projects.

Then I started thinking...what if I added metal to my encaustic pieces and then aged them?? Hmmmm. That could be a beautiful marriage between rusted oxidation on metal and the lovely, bumpy texture of wax.

Since I work on wood, it was very easy to just hammer in some metal pieces and go at it. Here is a detail shot of some rusty goodness:



You can see a bigger photo of this if you click on the picture. It will take you to my flickr account.

inherit the earth

Inherit the Earth, encaustic and mixed media
6x6 inches

I created this 6x6 inch encaustic piece last week. On my mind was one of the anxiety producing events that occurred in the beginning of that week, which was a visit to Children's Hospital. As I mentioned in a previous post, everything turned out to be ok. But being a parent is really like having your heart pulled out of you and uncertainty is a killer. Being at that hospital and seeing children going through chemo or other children in wheelchairs or others attached to respiratory machines brought tears to my already wet eyes. It brought back memories of hospital visits for my sister who had childhood leukemia. It brought back memories of when I worked in special education.

All those hard experiences though have given me the gift of knowing that life is miraculous. If you are able-bodied and able-minded, what a blessing! I had worked with children who were seriously cognitively delayed and so when I encountered a "normal" child they seemed like geniuses just because they were able to make eye contact with me.

Anyway, when I was coming up for the title of this little flower, I thought of how life is so fragile and the fact that we are here on earth is a blessing. The smallest abilities that we have are so often taken for granted. I think that that becomes so clear when you have experienced loss or have shared the life with others who live with disabilities. You learn to celebrate the smallest achievements. Blessings made me think of the Beautides, which of course I looked up since I was on the computer. And found my title.

The path to the title of the piece may not make sense, but it does to me. Maybe it's a mistake to share so openly what was going through my mind. Maybe it's better for people to draw their own conclusions and see just a red poppy. And it is just a red poppy. But this is my life, my thoughts processes, my art. Part of the reason why I create is to make sense of my life and my experiences.

Hope everyone had a happy mother's day. I did!

impression

impression, encaustic and mixed media, 8x8 inches

I was able to go into the studio to work this afternoon and am so happy that I finally was able to finish this piece. I had brought it home from last time I worked and thought it was done. But all week, or however long it's been, it's been sitting on my worktable, staring at me accusingly. "No, not done. All wrong. Proportions are totally off", it told me. So I brought it back with me today and it is pleased.

I used the cracked plaster technique again and combined it with encaustic. The first one I did is here.

It's been a rough week for a couple of reasons. Thankfully, everything is resolved and anxiety has been lifted. I was able to go into the studio with a clear heart and mind. And it felt good to be creating. In touch, in tune with myself. I have a few more pieces to make for the June artwalk, but I'm in good shape for it, and that's a relief.

I have a big, huge move ahead of me...but I am feeling that bigger transitions are needed to be made within. People often remark that my paintings exude a peaceful serenity. It makes me pause. That peace, that serenity. It has to be inside of me in order for me to be creating it. It's not something that I set out to do. It presents itself on the canvas. Reaching that place within, placing a soft hand on it and bringing it into my daily life. Letting it emerge so that it becomes a part of me, just like the way I walk. The way I look up and to the right when I'm stuck on something. I want that peace in my life. Serenity. Joy.

My art is an extension of me. So that peace must be within. Or is it what I always am hoping to attain...

hmmmm

On a lighter and tastier note...When I left the studio to go home I stopped at Dish D'lish to pick us up some dinner. While I was waiting for my chicken and brie sandwich they told me that because I'm a mom, they were giving me a gift for Mother's Day~ a jar of Northwest Mixed Berry Jam! What a nice surprise. I can't wait to have it with my coffee and toasted english muffin tomorrow morning.

I think they are doing this for all moms until Mother's Day, so if you're in Ballard and you're a mama, stop in.