strength of fragile things

Strength of Fragile Things
encaustic and plaster on wood
6x6 inches

I've been so busy with getting everything ready at home for the baby's arrival and tying up loose ends for business purposes, that I haven't had much time for computer time. But here I am, hello!

A few weeks ago I mentioned reworking old paintings and this is one of them. The original painting was actually not old, I created it last year. You can see it here. I was never fully satisfied with it, I can't really tell you why, it was just a feeling.

And it wouldn't leave me alone. It was like an itch in a place on your back that you can't reach.

When I first started reworking it, I tried to maintain the same light palette, but as you can see, I departed from that. I am much happier with this now.

The itch has been scratched.


Some of the pictures are truly mysterious to me.. which is why I so often say publicly that I don’t know or don’t care what they’re really about. And yet I can also say that the paintings are prayers.~ Susan Rothenberg


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Remember when I announced that I had one my paintings used for an album cover? Well, James Shipp, the musician, sent me one of the cds and it was so exciting to open it up and see my work as part of this album. You can listen to some of the tracks in the Listen section. I really like the last track on there. Isn't her voice beautiful?

You can also buy the cd at CDBaby.com.

[sic]

And now for something a little different.......



[sic]
acrylic and mixed media
36x48 inches

I've been meaning to post this all week, but my son who just turned 3 this past Monday had decided to boycott his naps, which has been my blogging time. This is a painting that is very different from the usual that I post here. For one, its size is much larger than my usual, and hey, where's the tree or the bird or a plant?!?

I like to try new things and I have been itching to explore painting abstractly for a long time. And with the birth of my second one coming up, I pretty much have cleared myself of all painting obligations and deadlines, so my studio time is pretty free right now. My husband's birthday was last week and he asked me several years ago for a large abstract painting for his office. Since it's not something I normally do, I put it off. I've been working on this painting for the past few months, really enjoying working differently and learning a lot. For one thing, painting abstractly is hard. Part of it is really about letting go and trusting my gut and the other part is about making a lot of conscious decisions. Maybe that is not so different from when I create my other work, but this time it was in unchartered territory, so it was a little daunting.

I've been reading Joe Fig's book Inside the Painter's Studio (which I highly, highly recommend) and when he asks one the artists he interviews about what advice she would give to a young artist starting out, she replies:

"I try to tell students to do the things that come the most naturally, but at the same time do the very thing that you don't know how to do and that you're afraid to do. You should do two things at once: what you do and what you don't do. I think what you do instinctually proceeds from your heart. And what you don't do is what you need to learn with your head. So you need to do both." ~ Amy Sullivan


I read those words earlier this evening, and I could definitely relate with this recent experience. Anyway, I finally delivered on the promise I made my husband, but with a little help this time.



noah, 2 years, 11 months
mother + son collaboration


me, pregnant here, and noah

Noah and I do a lot of art time together and I have become increasingly inspired by his scribbles and mark making. I often put a huge piece of paper on the ground and we both will draw together with markers or paint with watercolors. It's actually a very freeing exercise for me as it's very free form, meandering with color on paper. I'm not sure which one of us enjoys it more!

A friend of mine, who is a painter and teaches at Lill Street, has had her son in her studio since he was a baby. She often has him add his own marks to a painting that she's working on now that he is a little bit older. Inspired by this and since this painting was going to be for my husband, I thought it would be special to have Noah work on it as well.

I would work on the painting on my own time, and then when I would get it to a certain point, I'd give him graphite and sometimes a brush with paint and let him do whatever he wanted. Later when I would be working by myself, I would rework the painting, building upon his marks, incorporating them into the painting. This painting went through many stages!

Just so no one thinks to themself, well, why can't my 2 year old paint with me like that?! My son is very high energy, and has never been a kid who just sits there docilely. Ever!! Even as a baby. His painting/drawing time on the canvas were literally 5-10 minutes. Closer to 5 minutes.

And while we spend a lot of time together in my studio, I hardly ever paint while he is in there with me. 1) I would never turn on my encaustics with him in the room and 2) when I paint I am totally focused on painting, the world usually ceases to exist- not conducive to having a toddler around. But we do a lot of creating together, which is a lot of fun. I love that I can share this with him. And since I've had scheduled time to paint since he was born, he always knows when "mama is working" versus our art/play time together. And he is so supportive too- he often comes and points to something new I've been working on and says, "Cool painting!"

I know I have to enjoy it while I can as there will come a time when mom is so totally not cool and the object of lots of eye rolling. Hopefully that comes much much later than sooner!

beyond time

"No one else but you can make your marks. Listen to your bones. Speak with your spirit. Edit with your head. Live with your heart." ~S.Holland



beyond time
encaustic and mixed media
9x12 inches


I came across the above quote from a tweet by Deborah Colter and just loved it. Part of it is that it speaks to what I have been trying to follow this past year and what I will continue to follow in 2010.

This painting has been through many transformations. I actually painted an oil and mixed media painting on the wood back in 2007. I think in 2008 I covered the painting in clear encaustic medium. And then I kind of left it alone. I came back to it in late 2009 when I was going through old paintings and canvases that I wanted to either repaint or finally use. And I began painting it, little by little with encaustics. Letting it develop organically, not rushing it, not really sure where I wanted it to go. Wanting to maintain some of the old bones of the oil painting beneath the wax. (It actually used to be a horizontal landscape painting!)

I finished it last week, my actual first painting created in 2010.

intentions for 2010

"We promise according to our hopes, and perform according to our fears." ~Francois de La Rouchefoucauld



counting her eggs
encaustic and mixed media
6x6 inches

{another painting that I reworked this past Sunday. See original here}


I am one of those people that if I don't write it down, it's not going to happen. Especially for daily tasks, and it seems to be getting worse! But I also like to write down intentions for the year- if I don't know what I'm aiming for, if I can't visualize it, how am I even going to try to get there?

First I wanted to look at what I wrote for 2009 and see how I did.

From 2009
1. Time: I am going to get a timer and actually set it for 15 minutes. When that timer goes off, I need to get off the computer. Also will have a specific time when I check email and write emails. And a specific time to read blogs, because I love to read them. They inspire me and it is like a community. But I can't spend an hour of nap time reading blogs or checking status updates on FaceBook. That's just not productive!
How I did: hahahahahahaha! Totally and utterly failed on that one.

2. Simplify: I have my hands in too many things in the studio. Makes me feel scattered and unfocused. I still need to continue making my handmade journals. But in terms of painting I am going to focus on encaustics and acrylic/mixed media. I know, that still sounds like a lot. But in my head I feel better about it. I have been working on a large oil painting, and my impatience is rearing its head. Again, the Time thing.
How I did: Still working on that one, but did simplify things a bit this past year. Didn't really have a choice.

3. Learn: Sit down and learn QuickBooks for business purposes. As well as Working Artist3.0.
How I did: I did learn how to use my Quickbooks, and learned a little more about Working Artist 3.0. Not an expert by any means, but better than before.

4. Explore: I still have yet to explore the gallery scene in Chicago. I need to do my homework for the future.
How I did: I give myself a D on this one. I did go to a few, very few. Too difficult time wise when you have a toddler. But I did go to at least 1. That's better than zero.

5. Paint, paint, paint. Inventory as soon as a painting is done.
How I did: Painted as much as I could and I did inventory fairly soon after a painting was done.

6. Possibly do an art fair in the chicagoland area. There are so so so many during the summertime! At least research them for the future.
How I did:Did not do research on this. I went to 1 art fair.

7. Get working on the new series.
How I did: Not sure what I was talking about here...so I guess the answer is no? But I did work on my prairie series this year, which I really enjoyed.

8. Create at least 2 new mixed media collage journals a month. That is the minimum.
How I did: That lasted maybe 3 months. Oh well.

9. Be open to opportunities. But also be mindful of what I take on.
How I did: I give myself an A on this one.

10. Ponder some more about teaching small workshops. Ponder for a little bit, but then decide! Research.
How I did: Pondered it, was even asked by several venues to teach, but decided with my energy and time limitations, that it's not a good fit for me right now. If I do have time for art, I'd rather be painting.

11. Redesign and update my art web site. Add a section for visual journals. Make encaustic and painting sections more current. Old stuff does not need to be up there.
How I did: I did this.

And now for 2010, this will be short:

1. Keep painting. I know it will be hard to, but will have to find a way. My husband says that I am a more balanced person when I have good painting days. That's a nice way to put it. But it's true, I am. Luckily he's my #1 supporter and said that we'll figure it out together.

2. Keep exploring my symbols,my inner dialogue.

3. Paint bigger!! I will still keep doing small paintings, but more and more I want to paint larger, which also means I will be "less" productive. But that's a given anyway with a baby on the way, so why not go all out?!

4. Be in the present, in the Now. My children are a gift to me and it's important for me and them to be Present.

5. Be open to possibilities and opportunities.

6. Rewrite my artist statment

Fairly simple intentions, but life is about to get much more complicated!

Creating Home

Creating Home
acrylic and mixed media
24x24 inches


I finished the above acrylic and mixed media painting in the last week of December. I was working on it for several months, on and off. It is based on a small 6x6 inch panel I created for one of my handbound mixed media journal. I really enjoyed painting this and working so much larger than I normally do. This painting is marking the first of an acrylic series that I will be working on this year. Many moons ago I came across a quote on Jenny Doh's blog that said:

Home is where your story begins

I jotted it down on a yellow sticky note and put it up on my wall above my computer. As a mother of a young child (soon to be children) these words really stayed with me. I don't know too many people who had the most functional homes growing up, I certainly didn't! But there was a lot of love in my home and I think that has made such a difference in the shaping of myself and my sisters. But now it's my turn, and no, I won't do a perfect job, that's impossible. But if I keep these words in the forefront of my brain and heart, I can create a safe and nurturing home for my children.

As many of you know I also struggle with "home" and what it means to me. I'm always searching, searching, searching. Moving here and there. But I am learning that it is not necessarily a physical place.

Anyway, deep thoughts, sorry. My intent to share that quote and my thoughts behind it is that I want to work on a series about those words. About home and about family. This series will be large paintings (for me) and will be done in acrylic.

When I sat down to the computer I was going to write about my intentions for 2010, but I will have to save that for another post!

goodbye 2009!

I hope everyone had happy holiday celebrations this past month with whatever traditions and beliefs you hold to your hearts. We have been pretty busy in my house creating new memories with a very excitable almost 3 year old who finally gets Christmas. I just turned 34 the day after Christmas too which was spent with my most favorite beings in the world, my husband, son and dog. I am excited to bring in this new year and am wondering what lies ahead for me and my family. One thing is for sure, and that is that this belly of mine is expanding at an alarming rate and a new little one will be joining my pack in less than 9 weeks. Lots of changes ahead...




1. rootedness, 2. woven_depths_of_the_earth, 3. all_things_seen_unseen, 4. we_are_all_connected, 5. where_memory_resides, 6. dream_totem, 7. transitions, 8. b3_4, 9. bk_sa_1_detail2, 10. the_seed_is_hope, 11. earth_sky_horizon, 12. beneath_the_prairie, 13. shewoke, 14. maybe home was always here, 15. bk_trees_4_detail, 16. learn_from_the_earth, 17. wings_of_the_wind, 18. heartland, 19. virtues_undiscovered, 20. bk_sa_4_wip, 21. lesson_plans, 22. patterns_and_cycles, 23. 133, 24. quiet_spirit_det, 25. origins_2_w

This is a flickr mosaic I made of 25 paintings/art pieces that I made this past year. I have to say that I am pretty proud of myself as I only get 1 full day of serious studio work a week and what else I get is squeezed in at nap times or nighttime if I am able to. I wish I had more time, but am always grateful for what I do get and what I do with it. Sometimes I dream about what I could do if I was able to go back to working in my studio full time...but I wouldn't trade this time I have with my son. I only have this time with him once and I actually feel like he has opened the world up to me in so many different ways that in turn, informs my work.

Journaling about this art journey of mine has given me (among many other things) the ability to look back, celebrate my achievements, learn from my mistakes, make adjustments, and look forward to what's ahead. I have done this for years in my personal written journals, and I have shared my end of the year art reflections on this blog in 2006, one for 2007, did one in 2008, and now for 2009.

This reflection has actually lifted me in that I can see that I actually created, grew in my work, and remained a bit active. I have gotten down a couple times this year with that feeling of not being able to "keep up" or frustrated that I am not able to pursue all that I would like to. But seeing this list here, has helped me to see that even if I don't see it at times, I am doing the best I can and accomplishing a few things while I'm at it. I paint and create because I must. Finding the dedicated time and energy as well as balancing that with my family and pregnancy has been the challenge this year.



Learned
:: Took a handbuilding clay class to experiment with clay + encaustic. Figured out that as much as I would love to do this, I just do not have the time to invest on this path right now
:: Took 2 sewing classes to finally learn how to use my sewing machine and fell in love with sewing
:: Took an online workshop with Susan Tuttle to learn more about Photoshop

Shows
:: Exhibited in 5 group shows- 3 in Chicago, 1 in Venice, CA, 1 in Melbourne, FL
:: Had work included in an Art Auction in Missouri
:: Had work hanging at Sacred Art gallery in Chicago since March, and have sold work there consistently every month
:: Commissioned to create an encaustic painting and the image was licensed out for an album cover for NY musician James Shipp
:: Had one of my journals chosen for the Tyra Banks Show Luxe Living Giveaway with my journal and web site featured on her web site.

Produced:
:: Created 48 pieces, including mixed media panels for journals, and 1 encaustic sculpture
:: Sold 41 pieces (including mixed media journals)
:: Participating in a challenging collaboration with Jen Worden and Seth Apter

In less quantifiable terms:
:: Still proving to myself that "where there's a will, there's a way"
:: Moving to painting larger paintings
:: Really delving more into my personal marks and symbols
:: Feeling like my work is growing, changing and really trying to push myself
:: Still learning to accept that I have time and energy limitations
:: Still learning to accept that my art will always be there for me, even if I cannot focus on it fully at this moment.



++++++++++++++++++
Just wanted to take this moment to thank everyone who comes to this little blog of mine with your advice, your support, and your friendship this past year. It means so much to me to be able to share my art/life journey with such wonderful people out there in the big, wide world. Wishing you all a happy, healthy, and creative 2010!

I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart. ~ Van Gogh

Book of Trees, spread 4

I just got back from picking up a package at my mailbox that came with my "Book of Trees", my project that is part of the collaboration with Seth Apter and Jen Worden. I haven't seen this book for a few months so I was really excited to open up the box and see the magic that they have worked upon my plaster book.

I wish I could share the pages they have done in the meantime, but I will leave it to them to post. I post my pages here once Seth and Jen have both seen what I created in person, so the fun won't be spoiled for them when they open up the box.

Anyway, here is my last spread I did in my "Book of Trees" which is made of plaster pages. The preceding page that you can kind of get a glimpse of is a spread that Seth created. I played off the palette of his last spread.



spread 4, open

One of the things that I wanted to explore with having a book made out of plaster pages was to play with the characteristics of having a plaster page, ie, take advantage of the fact that it is a hard surface. So I cut a window out of the plaster with the idea of placing an image inside.

When you dip a piece of paper into encaustic medium, the paper absorbs the wax, almost becoming a piece of wax itself. This creates a beautiful translucency when the piece of paper is held up to the light. The tricky part about that is, well, how does one find a way to display work like that? I haven't quite gotten to that solution yet, but this is a baby step in the right direction. When the book is opened, like in the photo above, the light comes through the waxy image of the branches, which just makes my heart sing!



with book closed

Above is an image of the page with the book closed. I painted the rest of the plaster page with encaustic and oil paint. Scratching into the surface and letting the wax grab onto the nooks and crannies of the plaster.

Here is a detail of the corner:



detail

I kind of felt bad for Jen who had to do the next spread as I wasn't sure how she was going to tackle the challenge of having a window and an image already part of the next page since she was going to work on the back. But she did an amazing job. And she also played around with the metal wires that are holding the plaster pages. So cool!

rootless

rootless
5x7 blank journal
mixed media panel

On my studio table I have been working on the next "page" of Jen Worden's metal prayer flag. Click here to see the last page I made. I mentioned before that working in metal intimidates me because I really don't know how to work with it. How fun would it be to solder things on though! But with all the other things I do...not sure if I want to add yet another media to my arsenal. I put a cropped image of the work in progress over on the right side in my "Studio Sneak Peek".

But anyway, since I've been working on this project, it has inspired me to pull out a metal project that I created several years ago in a workshop I attended by L.K. Ludwig in which we learned how to create prints onto metal. I have had this piece of metal silhouetted with grass reeds that I created sitting in my studio now since then. I've always wanted to use it for something, but not sure what. It finally has a place.

Above the metal piece, I attached a photo of mine to the top and then encased it in a thin layer of wax. I really like the juxtaposition of two totally different surfaces next to each other. One, smooth and buttery, and the other cool and rough.

The words are from something I wrote even longer ago, back in college, I believe. They read:

birthed from the earth yet
without roots:
rootless
no grasp
my past

I wrapped the edges of the book cover in black book tape as metal edges can be sharp. I like the feel of this blank journal in my hands...I may have to keep it for myself!